bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I'm having to shit out rocks
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