Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Randomize
