Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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