If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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