I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
