You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
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