Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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