You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
