I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
