After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize