apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
