I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
