nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
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they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
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I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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