woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
