Im at strip club and am horny
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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