i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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