i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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