i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
