SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
