Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
