I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
