Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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