Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
