You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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