oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
My vagina is officially offended.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Randomize
