FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
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We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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