What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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