I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
they're like a gay fantastic four
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
