i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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