Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
