come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
