Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
