i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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