he puts the penis in happiness.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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