ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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