it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
vagina is talking i cant
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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