I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
