Do you still have your period?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
