I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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