Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...