just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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