Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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