I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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