I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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