2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize