singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
My liver just had a heart attack.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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