the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
