Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
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I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
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Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
We were destined to go to rehab together
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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