I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
