Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
