weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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