That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
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His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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