just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize