he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I had to cum in my sink.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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