So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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