"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
