so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
