I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
